PAIN

Everyone handles pain differently. This pain inside me is crying,  confused, why me? Whats wrong with me? Why do people hurt others . Why do they tear them down, and once they pick themselves up, wanna tear rhem down again? My heart feels empty and numb towards this person. No longer can i enjoy their company. Im dazed :( how do i move on with this person. the behaviors are confusing,  sometines its love,  sometimes it's I dont love you, sometimes its I need to live my life. Others its im not attracted to you. I cant take it anymore,  i keep fighting but have no fight left. Everyone says give him another chance, they have no idea the agony and pain and the strength its taking me to say enough!!! I was in a dark pit. And recently i was able to crawl out but still getting up. I forgave the person who hurt me. But i xant move on with them. I want better for my life.  It hurts so bad even having to say that. They were my fairy tale, my prince but ended turning in the villain.  Oh how this breaks me up inside. How can he do this to me. How can he then say he wants me? After the hurt he purposely caused.... he is trying, they say... your being mean,  they say. How much more do people want me to take? He took my mind when he wanted me dead. Oh how i pray for me to want to love him but honestly im at peace and dont want him in my life.  I want to grow in my ministry. just grow and forget i ever stopped growing. 

Thanks for listening. -shehulk